feelin' groovy

Earlier today and into this evening, I was starting to focus on my insecurities over a potential career change. And after writing it all down and then later discussing it with Doug, I'm choosing to focus on something else because I think I'm over those insecurities. Namely, I was obsessing over whether or not I could deal with a pay cut. And I realize now that I'll deal with it when it happens. I formulated a strategy to negotiate my current salary, if required, and now I can just wait until the transition is approved and I jump into the new responsibilities. It feels much better to write about a solution than to document the pros and cons, when I know deep down this transition and career move will be good for me.

So, I'm going to focus this entry on my 2008 goal progress.

I already blathered on yesterday about bringing my reusable bags to the grocery store. But aside from the usual groceries, other items that found their way into my bags included non-toxic household items for making homemade cleaning solutions. Baking soda, white vinegar, lemon juice, Borax and Bon Ami are all biodegradable and non-toxic, and can be used alone or in combination with each other to create pretty much any kind of household cleaner you'd need. I found an offer in my Blue Sky Guide to get a free squirt bottle from the Minnesota Pollution Control Agency that shows measurements and includes cleaner recipes -- so I have that in my possession and intend to start making some of these cleaners. As trivial and ridiculous as it may sound, I'm actually looking forward to making the tub and tile cleaner of dish liquid and baking soda to scour my bathtub without inhaling the unbearable fumes most commercial cleaners produce.

The MPCA's website, www.reduce.org, also features a host of cleaner recipes to try at home.

I've also been washing out all of the plastic bags and liners from boxed items and frozen foods -- because as long as they're rinsed out and the zip tops are removed, you can recycle them along with plastic shopping bags. We dumped a giant bag of plastic bags in the bag recycle bin at Rainbow yesterday.

I'm also noticing that my effort at getting up earlier is really paying off so far. I've been pretty consistent in getting up at 6:40 instead of 7:30, and that extra 50 minutes of awake time makes a huge difference in how I feel throughout the day. I have more time to get ready (I put makeup on this morning!); I can eat my breakfast at the dining table instead of at my desk; I can feed Jasper breakfast; and I can even go upstairs and have a conversation with Doug while he's getting ready. Since I'm awake longer, I have more time to "wake up" before I get to the office, and I feel like I'm in a better frame of mind all day. I haven't been nearly as curt with co-workers when my workload is heavy and they bring me more work. And I'm sleeping more soundly at night; I haven't woken up as many times in the night as usual, and when I do, I fall back to sleep pretty heavily. And I don't actually mind when the alarm goes off at 6:30 again the next morning. I didn't really know what kind of results to expect from this change, but I'm very happy with what I'm seeing so soon.

This Friday, I'm going to hang out with my friend Belinda. So I've made some social plans on my own. This is a big step toward my social networking goal. I normally wait until someone else invites me to do something, and this time, I initiated. I've been afraid before to ask for fear that the person is already busy and I'd feel rejected. I thought briefly about this today and came to this conclusion: I'm more open now to making new friends and working at maintaining existing friendships than I was when I was younger, when most people form those lasting friendships. I spent most of my teens and early adulthood clinging to the few friends who hadn't abandoned me, and it seems that these are the times others are making new friends. I wouldn't change my past experiences for something else, but I'm ready now to forget my inhibitions and insecurities that someone I get close to will grow apart from me later. I'll write more about the root of this insecurity in another post.

So I feel like I'm on track, even though I've only been working at these goals for about a week. But the positive results I've had are enough to keep at it and maintain consistency so they just become a routine part of my life.