I've been taking the bus as part of my commute since October. Prior to that, I drove 1.5 miles to my light rail station, which began to seem a bit ridiculous. And I had never ridden a bus in the Twin Cities until this switch. I ride the 21 on Lake St. between 42nd Ave. and Hiawatha Ave.
That being said, I've become much more observant of the people around me. This began with riding the light rail, which I've been doing for about two years, and now extends to my bus ride. Whereas I used to huddle to myself and try to ignore the goings-on, I now find myself listening and looking around much more.
The 21 bus is host to a variety of people. I used to have a prejudice against bus commuters, assuming that most riders were those who couldn't afford a car or didn't have jobs. Yes, I'm admitting an incorrect assumption here. And yes, I am wrong about this. Consider the fact that I do own a car, but I choose not to drive it the short distance to work. I, in fact, am one of many people in a category of commuters I didn't think existed. But I digress.
My sense of observation brought about a quick flash of reflection this morning. A reflection on myself and how I'm consciously choosing to be more tolerant of those around me. This is a hard thing to do with complete strangers, especially in the short time one is packed onto the bus with new people each day.
I got on the bus this morning, and a middle-aged man was politely saying "Happy New Year" to everyone who got on the bus. He wasn't talking loudly, so it wasn't so much a disturbance. When I got on, the empty window seat was in front of his, so I sat down. He said "Happy New Year" to me, so instinctively, I wished him the same, thinking that would be the end of the conversation. But he continued, and asked me if I had a boyfriend or if I was married, to which I replied, "Yes, I do." At this point, I didn't get agitated, as I would have expected of myself; I remained calm. He continued to say something in the way of my boyfriend being very lucky to have someone so beautiful. I imagine had I been agitated at this point, I would've considered this harassment. But instead, I just said thank you, and took out my book to read. And he went back to wishing everyone a happy new year.
It's hard not to make assumptions about someone else's situation when you find yourself in conversation with a perfect stranger. I don't know this man, and I don't know his situation. But I'm glad I didn't ignore him. I'd have all sorts of irrational what-if situations running through my head, and since I followed through and completed the experience, I don't have to wonder now.
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2 comments:
Chance encounters (and unsolicited compliments, no matter who they are from!) give us a glimpse of truth, for better or worse -- and that, I think, is always a blessing.
But it is hard to bury the instincts, the gut reactions, the desire to be an island and feel isolated and secure ... especially for those of us drawn to the tragic side of the news.
Kudos, Kate -- please post as often as you can!
This is what surprises me most about my reaction -- I have never taken compliments well. I'm amazed that I simply said thank you, instead of making excuses or refuting the comment. Change is a-brewing, oh yes!
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